I believe in God, I had an encounter of the Holy Spirit which cannot be explained in any other way nor made up in my mind because I wanted it to be true. I cannot deny what I know to be true but I have questioned is God good.
When I'm suffering, facing injustice or been in the disappointment of receiving a no, to a much longed for prayer - and watching others receive it but not make the most of it - I've questioned. Is it wrong to question? I think its good to know what you believe and why. It has helped me to grow in faith and to know for myself that God is good. It has helped me to question less, as I have grown in faith.
Knowing that God is good, gives me courage and helps my faith to face difficult decisions/situations. This hasn't been a quick easy step, but its been part of our journey/relationship in learning to trust God.
I had to accept that God is not man and does not think like man or uses man's ways upon us. He is not of this Earth or from my culture, and therefore does not work in those realms. 1+1 does not = 2 and therefore I cannot earn or workout Gods grace or next moves. It is an outrageous gift of mercy and grace, through his love.
Suffering, injustice, disappointment hurt, They are a part of this world. There are different theories as to why and we will know the truth when we are in eternity with Him. Sin entered the world when Eve bit into the forbidden fruit (the original sin) before everything was perfect. We now have the knowledge and experience of both good and evil. Thankfully this is not the end of the story because God sent his son Jesus to show his love and a way to bring us back to Him. We have the hope that one day all will be restored, there will be no more death, pain, sadness or illness. We will be united with Jesus. Sometimes God uses our suffering for us to cry out to him or to teach us. There is the original sin and the sin we cause to ourselves, sometimes we never know the reason to the suffering/injustice/disappointment and won't know until we are in eternity with Him, yet through this I believe in Gods goodness, how? because God always provided and helped, there is a way back to his love - I have felt and known his presence throughout all the pain and hurts caused by original sin, others or ourselves. He has been there with me, every step, helping and guiding me through it.
After acceptance, I prayed and learnt more about Gods character through the bible and teaching at church. There are many bible verses on Gods love for his creation. Even if you don't believe in God, the bible is essentially a book about creator and his love for his creation. I saw from my own circumstances how good Gods plan is (even if it did take a while for me to see). I learnt and am still learning how great Gods love is and how He is a God of love. Emotional healing allowed me to accept Gods love for me, with this healing I know God is good for myself and this statement underpins my faith. Throughout all my questioning, I prayed and God revealed. God is good!
You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
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